Wednesday, July 27, 2011


So, I have a dog. His name is Maxi. He is a Husky. I paid about $15 for him at Target. Yes, Target. Maxi is a stuffed toy, but that does not make him any less of a genuine pet. It makes him better.

Here is why:

1. Maxi can't bark
2. He doesn't shed hair
3. He never grows up, so I get to have a puppy forever!
4. You can squeeze the living daylights out of him and he won't stop breathing.
5. No unexpected puddles around the house when I come home.
6. I don't have to spend money on expensive dog food.
7. No vet fees
8. I can go away on holiday and not have to worry about Maxi being fed or cared for.
9. I don't have to wash him
10. No slobber
11. No stinky dog breath
12. No licking my face (some people like the licking of the face - I do not)
13. No leg humping
14. He stays when I tell him to.
15. He doubles as a pillow

But also,

1. He doesn't come to me, I go to him
2. I can't take him for walks without looking crazy
3. I can't talk about my awesome dog to my friends without looking crazy
4. I can't film videos for YouTube of him doing something funny/cute
5. I could but I would look crazy
6. I can't talk to Maxi without looking (extra) crazy
7. the extra is because people who talk to their animals already look crazy
8. I can't teach him awesome tricks
9. He won't fetch my slippers
10. He is not emotive
11. This makes it hard to tell how he is feeling
12. I seem like a crazy person

Isn't he the CUTEST!